WANTED: BOYFRIEND.. thoughts and feelings of a NBSB.

The feeling of not having a boyfriend creeps me out. I'm already 20.. and I'm almost in the age of settling down and having a family..  but I havent met anyone else YET. I've been in an all girls school since birth. Yes, preschool-college. From Colegio de Sta Rosa to Assumption College. What's worst is that my career line is in the Education.. so meeting guys will be very near to impossible.

Yes I have friends who have guy friends.. but the problem is.. they are taken! Haha or simply we don't match with each other. I don't know what to feel. I'm panicking.. at the same time excited.. or maybe tired.. tired of waiting. 

I'm afraid to get hurt. I'm afraid of commitments. I'm afraid of taking risks.. I get jealous easily, I get hurt easily.. I'm selfish and I'm clingy. I admit. Yes, I've been hurt several time already..  from being a third wheel in a date, from being jealous whenever I see happy couples and worst, from expecting others to like me back. You know? Like being lied to saying they like me but only to find out they already have a girlfriend. 

Oh it is so hurtful makes me want to cry out loud. I just hate the feeling of being hurt.. of being lied to.. of feeling like a toy that doesn't have feelings.. 

I'm afraid.. so afraid. God, help me find the right person.

And to guys out there (not generalizing), 

Girls have feelings too. We are human. Don't play with our feelings. Don't tell us that we ASSUME. You showed motives that's why we felt like it. If you don't  have any intentions of liking or loving us the way we do, then stop flirting or tell it to us. We are not toys where in you just leave when you have a new one. WE HAVE FEELINGS GUYS!! I know you do too that's why always consider what we're going to feel. I know some girls hurt you already but don't let other girls suffer because you want revenge. Girls give their whole heart when they love. Don't break it.

Love, Sarah Gonzalez.

Any thoughts? Any applicants? Mehehe.

Posted in: life